Hi,
(I wasted about an hour thinking how I should address you
when I finally realized you don’t mean anything to me now)
You must be wondering how I gathered courage or
sensibility to write about the feeling that has tested my sanity and nearly
devastated my beliefs. You just came into my life, without even a brief sign of
it, not even as much as of breeze of air. Little did I know what you were to
become to me.
I never thought that, one day, my call list would contain
only your number; I still remember the day we shared our numbers. We had
already met two times before through our common friends. Our clothes matched
both the times. The secret glances we both stole of each other and the hushed
smiles.
When you first called me that evening and told me you
were checking if I gave you the right number; I was about to call you that same
evening, which I later confessed.
Our casual good morning and good night texts that, with
time, became long and incomplete – no amount of words could complete our
thoughts. Our calls that started with minutes extended to hours, but still
couldn’t contain our talks. Every bye was followed by an urge to call you
again, to listen to your voice again and to talk to you again. Every morning I
used to plan and jot out few extra minutes for you!
The first time our hands touched, fingers actually. I had
suggested that we walk instead of taking a bus, it wasn’t an ideal set up for a
walk – a highway with vehicles honking forever with scorching sun upon us and
every kind of pollution around us – but still, with you beside me, it was
enough! We talked about every silly and sensible thing and then that moment
when our fingers brushed against each other and then you tangling yours with
mine. We looked at each other and that was the first time ever I felt I could
hold the time right there for eternity!
I wanted the rest of my life, every moment of it, with
you!
But may be that wasn’t supposed to be.
The way you abandoned me, left me fighting the demons of
my life, our love, all alone. I stood against the world for you, and you
couldn’t stand for your own self!
I still waited for you, hoping you would come back,
feeling my love has the power to bring you back – but today I laugh at myself
for my stupidity.
I don’t know if I could give anyone the place I gave you;
however, I’m sure that it’s not for you anymore!
I’m not writing this for you, but for me. Not to say
goodbye to you, but for the you I’ve
been holding on in my heart, in my life!
May be it was just not meant with you,
Goodbye!!
From someone you’ve
lost forever!
