Sunday 25 December 2011

Matter of hearts: Love but don't beg....!!!

         'If you have any hopes on me, just kill them!' she said rather courteously. He got down on his knees. 'Please,' he was looking at her expectantly,'I really love you.' She started walking, leaving him on his knees and in tears. When she passed me I could see disgust in her eyes. I hated it-not her disgust but his pleading. I put my hand on his shoulder and he got up on his feet but couldn't from his pain. I looked at his wet eyes, 'Who says boys don't cry?' I asked myself.
'Was she worth crying for?' I asked him.
'You'll not understand,' he said poetically.
I'm happy I don't I wanted to say. 'Why were you pleading her to love you?' I asked.
'Because I love her,' he said.
'So?'I asked him back. This must have pissed him a bit more, he left after saying,'You'll never understand because you don't love anyone.'

                                      
              I unfolded the letter which I took out from my wallet. It was crumpled, actually I did. I wrote that letter for the one I loved (I still do), but didn't give it to her. Reason: A day after I proposed to her, and she rejected (quite obvious), she shook her head so scornfully that I got my message. But I couldn't stop loving her. The letter I wrote was:
              Its not that I didn't like anyone before.I was attracted to girls, had relationships, wonderful one but didn't go long. I had reasons for liking them, I was bowled over by their beauty and charm. But with you it was different,I wasn't attracted to your beauty, not that you are not beautiful, you are gorgeous..seriously!! I honestly don't know what dragged my senses to you. I just fell for you, fell in love with you.
                I'm not writing this letter to request you to love me. I just wanted you to know that I love you, that there is someone out there who is always wishing for your happiness, that there is someone you can be sure of will never leave you no matter what !! I'm not making any sacrifice. If you are to be mine, you will !! I'm sure of it. For now I'm happy you are a part of my heart. I'm lucky to have this habit of being happy and satisfied with whatever little I get. So, I'm happy with those few smiles you gave me, with those few words you shared with me, with those few memories you, unwantedly, gifted me.
                                    Love you, always.
              I placed it back in my wallet, and stood in the corridor looking at the blank sky.
'Why does anyone kneel down in front of someone who don't give a damn?' came out of my mouth.
'None of my business,' I said consciously.
'Why do they beg for love?' I again lost control over my words.
'I can't fight it anymore,' I said and lost myself in the thoughts.
               It became a regular sight of guys getting down on the kneels and asking girls to love them back, and a habit for girls to ask them to kill their hopes. I'm not against asking someone if they love you but pleading someone to love you is not a part of the love !! The only law of love is not to expect anything in return, not even love !!
                   Don't insult love by begging for it. Its not something you beg, it should be earned !! Only person you kneel down for should be the ONE WHO LOVES YOU. If you think that by pleading you'll get someone's love then let me tell you, all you'll get is pity and you know its not worth it. Don't make lovers look so cheap by crying, by begging. Don't forget that not everyone can love, not everyone have such a heart. So don't hang your head, hold it high because you have something that others don't; then what if that one person is missing? You have love for them. Isn't that enough???

Monday 5 December 2011

Matter of hearts: Accept & Live with it....!!!

              'Screw me!! Why do I love her?' I heard my friend mumbling. I didn't respond. 'Why doesn't she love me?' he said again. His voice was choking. I looked at him this time-eyes half filled with tears and looking straight. I followed his eyes to see a girl, wearing a maroon salwar kameez, walking away from us; actually from his life!! But he was still stuck to her. And I was stuck to his question, 'What do I do now?'
               I watched a movie, named Mr Popper's penguins, few days ago in which a daughter asks her father the same question,'What do you do when you like someone and they don't like you back?'
               'So, its a universal problem!' I sighed. 'Isn't there any solution for this universal problem?' I asked myself.
                Yes, may be or may be no! Even I have no idea. I asked my friends this question and got some rather interesting answers.
The very first reply:
Play mind games. Trick her into your love. Make her realize that you love her truly with all your heart and can even die for her.
                 'Rubbish!!' shouted my heart. 'Do we really die if someone doesn't love us back?'  was the first question that hit me. NO! came the instant reply from inside of me. It may just pain us and make us feel like we're dying but we actually don't! Even if you can trick someone into your love, you have to keep doing that all your life; you have to deceive her everytime. If someone says that they love you only because you love them then its not worth it guys. Its better they don't love you; because it will end one day or the other. That feeling will be gone.
Reason: They just love you becoz you love them and not because their heart & soul  is saying them to. They are compromising but there shouldn't be any compromises in love!!
                                                 
 
                                                       

The second reply was:
Love someone else.
                   This usually comes from the practical guys. 'There's no dearth of girls,' they say. True! There may not be any dearth of girls, but there is of space in our hearts which can only hold one person!! It would've been much better if we could switch our feelings the way we want. May be then this 'no dearth of girls' statement would've made sense.
The third reply:
Wait for someone better.
                   'I wasn't talking about buying a new mobile, that you wait for a better model,' I wanted to say. But on a second thought I realized what the person was hinting at. If you love someone then there should be someone who loves you too. But the main question is would you be in a state of accepting their love?? Would you even take your mind off the one you love to think about someone who loves you??
I just wished if love obeyed Newton's III law-every action gives back equal reaction. Then every feeling of our heart would have been reciprocated, perhaps. Since its not the case lets come back to reality. As long as love doesn't follow any law or rule, we cannot find an answer to our universal question. All we can do is accept and live with the fact that the love we love doesn't love us back!! And how to do that? Well time and life are two cruel teachers guys. Time will drag you along, by your collar, mercilessly, and life will make you realize, each day, that the person is left behind. If you are lucky then one day you'll realize that their memories are buried deep down your heart with those couple of tears you shed.
                   Finally a quote from Chetan Bhagat's new novel: Its amazing to be in love only when the other person loves you back!!
                   So all you one-sided lovers we have no other option but to live with this not so amazing feeling and sing Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di....!!!!   
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