Sunday 25 December 2011

Matter of hearts: Love but don't beg....!!!

         'If you have any hopes on me, just kill them!' she said rather courteously. He got down on his knees. 'Please,' he was looking at her expectantly,'I really love you.' She started walking, leaving him on his knees and in tears. When she passed me I could see disgust in her eyes. I hated it-not her disgust but his pleading. I put my hand on his shoulder and he got up on his feet but couldn't from his pain. I looked at his wet eyes, 'Who says boys don't cry?' I asked myself.
'Was she worth crying for?' I asked him.
'You'll not understand,' he said poetically.
I'm happy I don't I wanted to say. 'Why were you pleading her to love you?' I asked.
'Because I love her,' he said.
'So?'I asked him back. This must have pissed him a bit more, he left after saying,'You'll never understand because you don't love anyone.'

                                      
              I unfolded the letter which I took out from my wallet. It was crumpled, actually I did. I wrote that letter for the one I loved (I still do), but didn't give it to her. Reason: A day after I proposed to her, and she rejected (quite obvious), she shook her head so scornfully that I got my message. But I couldn't stop loving her. The letter I wrote was:
              Its not that I didn't like anyone before.I was attracted to girls, had relationships, wonderful one but didn't go long. I had reasons for liking them, I was bowled over by their beauty and charm. But with you it was different,I wasn't attracted to your beauty, not that you are not beautiful, you are gorgeous..seriously!! I honestly don't know what dragged my senses to you. I just fell for you, fell in love with you.
                I'm not writing this letter to request you to love me. I just wanted you to know that I love you, that there is someone out there who is always wishing for your happiness, that there is someone you can be sure of will never leave you no matter what !! I'm not making any sacrifice. If you are to be mine, you will !! I'm sure of it. For now I'm happy you are a part of my heart. I'm lucky to have this habit of being happy and satisfied with whatever little I get. So, I'm happy with those few smiles you gave me, with those few words you shared with me, with those few memories you, unwantedly, gifted me.
                                    Love you, always.
              I placed it back in my wallet, and stood in the corridor looking at the blank sky.
'Why does anyone kneel down in front of someone who don't give a damn?' came out of my mouth.
'None of my business,' I said consciously.
'Why do they beg for love?' I again lost control over my words.
'I can't fight it anymore,' I said and lost myself in the thoughts.
               It became a regular sight of guys getting down on the kneels and asking girls to love them back, and a habit for girls to ask them to kill their hopes. I'm not against asking someone if they love you but pleading someone to love you is not a part of the love !! The only law of love is not to expect anything in return, not even love !!
                   Don't insult love by begging for it. Its not something you beg, it should be earned !! Only person you kneel down for should be the ONE WHO LOVES YOU. If you think that by pleading you'll get someone's love then let me tell you, all you'll get is pity and you know its not worth it. Don't make lovers look so cheap by crying, by begging. Don't forget that not everyone can love, not everyone have such a heart. So don't hang your head, hold it high because you have something that others don't; then what if that one person is missing? You have love for them. Isn't that enough???

Monday 5 December 2011

Matter of hearts: Accept & Live with it....!!!

              'Screw me!! Why do I love her?' I heard my friend mumbling. I didn't respond. 'Why doesn't she love me?' he said again. His voice was choking. I looked at him this time-eyes half filled with tears and looking straight. I followed his eyes to see a girl, wearing a maroon salwar kameez, walking away from us; actually from his life!! But he was still stuck to her. And I was stuck to his question, 'What do I do now?'
               I watched a movie, named Mr Popper's penguins, few days ago in which a daughter asks her father the same question,'What do you do when you like someone and they don't like you back?'
               'So, its a universal problem!' I sighed. 'Isn't there any solution for this universal problem?' I asked myself.
                Yes, may be or may be no! Even I have no idea. I asked my friends this question and got some rather interesting answers.
The very first reply:
Play mind games. Trick her into your love. Make her realize that you love her truly with all your heart and can even die for her.
                 'Rubbish!!' shouted my heart. 'Do we really die if someone doesn't love us back?'  was the first question that hit me. NO! came the instant reply from inside of me. It may just pain us and make us feel like we're dying but we actually don't! Even if you can trick someone into your love, you have to keep doing that all your life; you have to deceive her everytime. If someone says that they love you only because you love them then its not worth it guys. Its better they don't love you; because it will end one day or the other. That feeling will be gone.
Reason: They just love you becoz you love them and not because their heart & soul  is saying them to. They are compromising but there shouldn't be any compromises in love!!
                                                 
 
                                                       

The second reply was:
Love someone else.
                   This usually comes from the practical guys. 'There's no dearth of girls,' they say. True! There may not be any dearth of girls, but there is of space in our hearts which can only hold one person!! It would've been much better if we could switch our feelings the way we want. May be then this 'no dearth of girls' statement would've made sense.
The third reply:
Wait for someone better.
                   'I wasn't talking about buying a new mobile, that you wait for a better model,' I wanted to say. But on a second thought I realized what the person was hinting at. If you love someone then there should be someone who loves you too. But the main question is would you be in a state of accepting their love?? Would you even take your mind off the one you love to think about someone who loves you??
I just wished if love obeyed Newton's III law-every action gives back equal reaction. Then every feeling of our heart would have been reciprocated, perhaps. Since its not the case lets come back to reality. As long as love doesn't follow any law or rule, we cannot find an answer to our universal question. All we can do is accept and live with the fact that the love we love doesn't love us back!! And how to do that? Well time and life are two cruel teachers guys. Time will drag you along, by your collar, mercilessly, and life will make you realize, each day, that the person is left behind. If you are lucky then one day you'll realize that their memories are buried deep down your heart with those couple of tears you shed.
                   Finally a quote from Chetan Bhagat's new novel: Its amazing to be in love only when the other person loves you back!!
                   So all you one-sided lovers we have no other option but to live with this not so amazing feeling and sing Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di....!!!!   

Thursday 10 November 2011

Even though its a lie...!!!

You make me feel
                 so precious, everytime you
                                               look at me...
You make me feel
                 secure, everytime you
                                              hug me...
I know your love
                is a lie; I know,
                           you held me in dark...!!
But now that I'm,
               in light, Its getting
                          hard to breath
                              without you...!!!
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Just keep me in
             the dark, 'coz I
                           can't bear your lose...!!!
 
   

Can't even walk a step
         without you, even if I,
               want to move on...!
You're the only one
         on my mind, girl, you
             appease me with your lies...!!
I don't care what others
         think of me, they are not the one
                                   I'm crazy about...!!!
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Just keep me in
             the dark, 'coz I
                           can't bear your lose...!!!

You're a morphine to
          my senses, I'm addicted
                            to your high...!
My life is confined to
         you, baby, my boundaries are
                                         your lies...!!
Don't wanna break this
         spell of yours, I would
                 rather die in deception...!!!
and
          the only reason for this is,
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Baby I love your love
                           even though its a lie...
Just keep me in
             the dark, 'coz I
                           can't bear your lose...!!!

 
 

Friday 4 November 2011

There's someone...!!!

He walks around your place
         everyday, for a thousand times to
                 have a glance at you...
Oh girl,
      there's someone looking at you...
Oh girl
      there's someone falling in love with you...
Oh girl
      there's someone dreaming just to be with you ...
Do you know this..?
Or, don't you know this..??

    
He, standing at the door
      watches you pass by, though
       it kills him seeing you
                      walk away...
He hopes that you'll turn around
                      someday....
He sitting on the bench
      watches you play with your hair
      though it kills him seeing wind 
                      touch your tresses...
he hopes he'll get to touch them
                      someday...
Oh girl,
      there's someone looking at you...
Oh girl
      there's someone falling in love with you...
Oh girl
      there's someone dreaming just to be with you ...
Do you know this..?
Or, don't you know this..??

Tuesday 4 October 2011

Infatuation Vs. In love

                     'Don't call that as love,' said she,'its just strong attraction.'
       This statement of her drolled my mind so much that it spawned a doubt in me of what really is the difference between infatuation and love?
       The first thing I did  was open my dictionary and check for these two words.
Infatuation: an intense passion
Love: a strong affection   
      If you go by this, you won't find much difference between them. Then why people averse the idea of them being same?

                  
                                    
     
 But after she confronted me I introspected my own self and realized this:
 I don't look at her lips when she smiles, but I lose myself in her smiling eyes !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I don't just feel happy when she smiles at me, I feel I'm worth making her smile !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I don't want to walk beside her, I want to walk with her, holding her hand !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I don't talk to her immediately when I call her, I love to watch her wait for me, wanting to listen to me !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I check each of my words when I talk to her, afraid that I might just say that I love her !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I hold my hands firmly, whenever she's around b'coz they always try to move her tresses that cover her face !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
I wait for her reply forever, even though my mind says that she's never gonna message me !
                              Is it love or infatuation?
There was only one girl in my thoughts throughout the time I wrote this !!!
                              So is it love or infatuation?? 

Monday 26 September 2011

Letter for my Love

My you,
                                I didn't remember the day when I first saw you; only thing that I remember is you walking past me, without noticing me staring at you. You again passed through my eyes after two days when I was standing near that tree beside a bench in our college ground. But you didn't observe me, again! I stood there watching you crossing the college gate.
                                I was happy with your smile confined to your friends,was happy observing you through the trees,was happy walking on the footsteps you left behind. Months passed with the same thing repeating itself-I gazing at you, you walking away without any knowledge of my existence.
                             I wished it to end this way; but life's never so simple, I realized. It had other plans for me,for you, for us. You were brought into my life and became a part of it. When you spoke to me for the first time, I missed the track of your words 'coz I was lost in your eyes. I was sitting right behind you in the exam hall, gazing at you and forgot to write my own exam. I was waiting for you to turn around and look at me, but you never did. You were unaware of my presence, perhaps.
                                                         
                                                       
                                                    
                                Again, I was standing at the same bench, staring at you. You were approaching in my direction adjusting your scarf paired with a white t-shirt(you were looking gorgeous), you looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and you left to board your bus. No word can define how I felt when you smiled at me. The best smile I have ever seen and I don't think any other pair of lips could smile as beautifully !!If you ever find me smiling to myself,  you can infer that I'm thinking about your smile.
                               Your one smile messed up my feelings so much so that I run searching for you in the campus. Now I'm not happy with your smile confined to your friends, I want your smile for the rest of my life; I'm not happy watching you through a shroud, I want to hold your face and look into your eyes; I'm not happy walking on your footsteps behind you, I want to walk beside you holding you hand forever.
                               Will you be mine....forever....??
                                                                                           Yours me.

Sunday 21 August 2011

Forgotten Hero !!

                         I was sitting in our college canteen one day, having noodles along with my friends. They were talking about some soon-to-be released movie of Salman Khan. Between their extolments for Mr. Khan, I overheard the conversation of two friends(I guess). I don't know what was the cause of their discussion, because all I heard was: guy1: Do you know the birthday of Che Guevara? The other guy was clueless. 'Who is he?' he asked rather innocently. 'What?' he roared,'you don't know Che Guevara?' His friend sat embarrassed. I turned to guy1 and asked him, 'Do you know who Bhagat Singh is?' 'Yea, he's some freedom Fighter, I guess' he said casually. He is not 'some' freedom fighter you moron,' I wanted to say. But dropped the idea realizing that a person who guesses the names of the great men like Bhagat Singh will never understand my point.
                        It reminded me of an incident that happened a few days ago. I was reading a book about Bhagat Singh, sitting on a bench at Kachiguda station. I didn't know since when my friend was standing infront of me, but when I sensed my book elevating I looked above. My friend was lifting the book trying to read the name of it. 'Bhagat Singh!' he exclaimed upon his successful effort, 'we already got the independence yaar; whats the point in reading about him now?' he made himself comfortable beside me. I looked at him in horror at once but then I laughed at his ignorance.
                        Its not uncommon that we to witness these incidents now-a-days. But whats uncommon is the fact we don't bother! How can we forget the one who sacrificed his life for our country? Did you ever ask this question? Did you even think of it?
                        You may come up with an argument that it was even his country so whatever he did was for his own country. But give it a thought that what did he think he would gain from his sacrifice? You say he became famous. Yes! He became so famous that we just remember him for only two days a year. Other days we don't even care to read even a single line about him.We celebrate the birthdays of so many celebs but not of these martyr's. Does today's generation of India know anything about him other that he was a freedom fighter?
                             
   
                         If you think that he was just a freedom fighter then you are not completely right. He not only fought for overthrow of British Empire but also thought of its aftermath. While our then leaders thought of just Independence, Bhagat Singh's revolution accompanied with the socialist reconstruction of Indian Society. His thoughts were influenced by communism and socialism. He was a intellect and a keen learner. He studied about all the revolutionary movements in India and abroad. He broke free of all his religious customs and publicly declared himself an atheist. He submitted himself to one cause- serving mother-land.
                         He was also a very good writer; he wrote many articles and a couple of books on freedom and various revolutions. But unfortunately almost all of his works were smuggled out of the jail and destroyed; fearing that it would trigger a revolt. But his much talked about article was one in which he wrote about why he chose to be an atheist: "Why I am An Atheist".
                         Many of our National leaders were not in nsupport of his ideas and methods. But they even not disagree with the fact that the path he chose was much more powerful and effective; so much that it made English government to shiver in their boots and they sentenced them to death immediately. But what is more disheartening is the fact that their bodies were not given to their respective families. Instead they were secretly disposed. Even hisfamily members were not allowed to meet them one last time.
                        I may not be able to tell you about him in this small blog-no one can actually.Because though he lived for mere 23 years he made his name to be remembered for centuries! And we knowingly or unknowingly are in an attempt to forget him. Its left to you if you will remember him or not. But I'll make sure of thanking him for his efforts everyday.
I emphasize that I am full of ambition and hope and of full charm of life. But I can renounce all at the time of need, and that is the real sacrifice.
                                                                                                -Bhagat Singh
Love always elevates the character of man. It never lowers him, provided love be love.
                                                                                       - Bhagat Singh.
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